Summary: [Code Geass] Saying the wrong thing at the wrong time leaves Lelouch in a real pinch, but with a whole score of girls after him, maybe it’s not so bad. Maybe. [LelouchxHarem]

Yuh, I did it. Ever since seeing episode 22 and certain blog posts on it and certain parody images. like the one below, I had this idea in my head for this and even before that, after seeing the infamous h-game opening I’ve had ideas for a harem fic as well. And me being the lazy sod that I am decided, ‘Why not just merge the ideas together?’ After much bother, the first chapter was born and I barrel my way back into fan fictions after way too long. Hope to do more, and this along with my other works can be found here

Now on with the story XD

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Disclaimer: Code Geass and its characters are the respective properties of Sunrise and Clamp and I make no money from this at all.

Joke Too Far
Chapter 1: Whoops

“What were you thinking, Lelouch? Just because I was scared, you could get me to shoot you?” asked Euphie, looking at Lelouch confused at what he had been trying to do. She knew him, she knew how well he thinks things out but even she couldn’t see the logic behind how he thought this would pan out.

“Well, if I used my absolute order, you would have definitely done anything I said,” replied Lelouch, deciding to joke around. “Give me a kiss, dance naked on stage. No matter what the order may be, you would have to—“

“Seriously, enough with your jokes” yelled Euphie, a slight blush on her face. Her thought being, ‘Boy, Lelouch has gotten perverted lately…’

“No really, if I were to say, ‘Make Love to me’ you would have to do it” stated Lelouch like a matter of fact offhandedly. And without time for him to replenish his breath after saying that life changing sentence, Euphie had already jumped into his arms and crashed her lips to his causing him to fall backwards onto the control dashboard, not noticing the light which had turned on.

Frozen still, completely surprised by what was happening, he didn’t actually start acting until he felt tongue to which he quickly pulled his face from hers and practically screamed, “Euphie, what are you doing!?”

His breath hitched however as he came to see the look in her eyes, completely filled with lust and her irises surrounded by a familiar reddish glow.

“Why silly, I’m making love to you. Now let’s get you out of this stuffy jacket” explained Euphie as her hands worked quickly to try to remove his clothing.

Lelouch was in absolute shock. What just happened here? Euphie has fallen prey to the Geass and now carrying out his ‘orders’ of making love to him. How? Wait, this needed more specific clarification. His half-sister, Euphie, is mentally being forced to do the down and dirty with him. Oh, this would be murder to explain away and his overworked brain was already sending messages that it was a lost cause and he should accept that he was well and truly fucked. Or he would be soon.

Jogged from his mental sniggers at the (lame) joke he just thought by a chilly breeze to his chest, his eyes lowered to see that Euphie had already gotten rid of his jacket and was just about to get to work on his trousers. It was at this point it was clear to Lelouch that he had to do less thinking and do something lest he be raped by the beautiful yet crazy at the moment (never mind the fact it was Lelouch’s fault) Euphie.

His hands went and gripped Euphie by both wrists and held them up so her assault was assailed to which she just leaned forwards and snuggled her head onto his bare chest. He could even hear her purring. Finally having his brain reboot after this even more surreal turn in events, he was just about to try to talk himself out of this. Just about.

“What are you doing?”

The voice out of nowhere led his attention to C.C. who was just standing in his plain view over Euphie’s shoulder. Like any person caught in a very compromising situation with their half-sister, his thoughts were just plainly, ‘Shit!’

“Erm, well….. Er, you see, er…” stuttered Lelouch.

“You do know this is getting broadcast right?” stated C.C. her voice cold as she stared icily at Lelouch. He was panicking at the moment. This was worse than he thought. Televised! This was supposed to be televised near enough worldwide. Noticing that he was sitting on the control panel enlightened him on how this could have happened.

“I also wouldn’t advise turning around as well. The only camera here is right behind you” continued C.C. His right hand snapped to his face and he realised that he had taken off his mask to negotiate with Euphie before and in a situation like this, his identity as Zero could have been ruined. He was about to look around for his mask when he felt a rough pressure around his head and found himself in the familiar presence of the inside of his mask.

Gruffly held by one arm, he was abruptly pried from Euphie’s grip by C.C. who was now dragging him out of the room. She only looked back once to say to him, “We need to leave. And Now! And afterwards, we are going to have a long chat about what has been going on today.”

Chills went down Lelouch’s back, whether due to the sub zero tone C.C. was using with him or the fact he was sans anything waist up besides his mask. Whatever it was, more chills went up his spine when Euphie shouted out to their retreating forms, “Wait, I still have to make love to you!”

Yeah, they really needed to leave, and fast.

***

Outside in the stadium, thousands of the Japanese were just in plain shock over what they had just seen over the large screen in the centre. Some mothers were hiding the eyes of their children from the screen as soon as the words ‘making love’ were mentioned. Some of the men in the crowd were thinking, ‘Zero scored some big time, but then he got caught. Harsh for him’

Suzaku, alone on the field looking up at the events unfolding that would be seen worldwide, had his fist firmly clenched and his teeth were almost at breaking point at the pressure he was applying. Seriously, he looked pissed.

Dalton was in utter shock at how things were panning out and he seriously had no idea what to do next. The rest of the support staff were no better off.

Kirihara was just chuckling to himself. He had expected much from the boy but he certainly wasn’t expecting anything like this at all. What he also wasn’t expecting was seeing a shirtless Zero seemingly running for his life with his green haired supposed lover in tow. Everything just seemed so much more fun since he found out Lelouch was still alive.

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Getting his bearings back and realising how cold it really was without his jacket, Lelouch was running as fast as he could towards the Gawain which would mean his inevitable escape from this sordid mess. He thought that he and C.C. would be able to escape without any problems at all as everyone seemed to still be in shock from what they had witnessed being broadcasted, until he looked back over his shoulder and saw Euphie had just emerged from the entrance they had just used and she looked like she had her prey in her sights.

“Guards! Anyone! Capture and detain Zero before he can escape before I can make love to him!” screamed out Euphie, only causing Lelouch to run even faster. The guards after getting over their initial shock at what they heard went after Zero but unluckily for them, he was already climbing into the Gawain.

Suzaku was slightly coming to his senses and had stopped staring at the big screen, choosing instead to stare evilly at the frantic Zero.

Lelouch was hard pressed at even activating the Gawain as he was panicking so much at getting away. In the end, C.C. had to take over all the controls and pilot completely as the Gawain made like a bat out of hell. In the safety of their Knightmare Frame, C.C. decided to start off their little chat there and then.

“I wouldn’t think you would have gone so far” she muttered loud enough for Lelouch to hear behind her.

“It certainly wasn’t my intention to” was Lelouch’s bitter reply accompanied by the sound of his helmet discarded. She took a glance back and gasped as she realised why he had his Geass activated; he was no like Mao and had no control over his power now.

“What am I supposed to do now?” shouted Lelouch as he slammed his fist into the dashboard beside him.

“How about an eye patch” stated C.C. offhandedly to which Lelouch could only stare at the pure simplicity of it to which he stuttered an “Okay” a few moments afterwards.

‘Yes, Lelouch will wear a sexy eye patch. Score!’ thought C.C. as a large smile spread on her face, unnoticed by Lelouch who was still a little dazed.

***

Somewhere in Kyoto, Kaguya was staring at a television screen looking like she was going to kill someone. Her thoughts were something like, ‘How dare those bitches think they could take my hubby away!? Oh this calls for some serious action…’

The rest of the people in the room started moving away from her as an evil aura and evil laughter started being emitted from the short girl.

***

Kallen was just left there fuming as she went over the video feed of what she missed as she was in stand by waiting for Zero’s signal if he needed any help. Her thoughts were something like, ‘Oh great, there’s another one. If I ever get my hands on her, I’ll bloody kill her. The damn Britainian Princess!’

He team mates who were roaming around her just chose to ignore Kallen’s show of even more hatred than usual and the fact that C.C. wasn’t even there.

***

Euphie was starting up a Knightmare Frame she was planning to use to make her way to Ashford Academy before Lelouch could so she could surprise him and then jump him in his surprised state. Her thoughts at the moment were along the lines of things that would only be censored at this point.

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Lelouch felt a huge shiver run up his spine. He couldn’t help but think that something bad was going to happen to him. And soon.

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End Chapter 1

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And there we go, hope you enjoyed it, and hope I write more. Oh, and one last thing, just one of the parody images that inspired this =P